🔗 Share this article That Floating Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Year. As we consider the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From awkward spin-offs to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote. The 'Sex and the City' Sequel How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final season started, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob? The Kim Kardashian Drama ‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’ But that was practically the smallest of this drama's problems. The subject of a very rare no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin listing the problems. The laughably leaden writing? The tedious veneration of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Acting so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to. The Charlie Sheen Documentary Given the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but flippant narcissist. The Iris Affair Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat. MobLand Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back. Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic. The Meghan Markle Series Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh. The Beckham Documentary There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was akin to consuming a sales catalogue. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series. The Inheritance It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it. Too Much How does one follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky. The Sketch Show Return Not good enough to be ‘patchy’. Given the shrewd inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer. The Knox Dramatisation This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly jaunty, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so. Prime Target We love the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense. 1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.